Be Your Own Best Friend

Freshman year of college I had to learn how to be my own best friend. I struggled to find a close group of friends, as I think most people do. I went through a couple of friend groups & at one point I definitely thought each group was going to be my squad. But I quickly learned that people drift away & you’re left with only yourself & maybe a close few friends if you’re lucky.

At first I felt sad & sorry for myself because everyone else seemed to have their “people”. And while I do enjoy my time alone, night in & night out it got really lonely. It made me miss my boyfriend, who lives 3 hours away, even more. I thought about transferring too many times to count first semester. I spent all my time in my dorm room. Jim & Pam became my only friends. I ate all the time because I was bored & the freshman 15 started to feel real. I missed my family more than a college student probably should. I was just sad. 

Once I stopped worrying so much that I was missing out, or forcing myself to hang out with people that I didn’t really like, my life got so much better. I realized that nothing was going to change, & I wasn’t going to make close relationships if I just stayed in my dorm. So I got up, got out & took time for myself. 

I went to the farmers market. I discovered new coffee shops. I went on walks & discovered parts of my city I never new existed. I talked to strangers. And SURPRISE! When I stopped trying so hard to find my “people” they kinda just found me. Now I happily have a solid group of friends that I am sure will be friends for life, while also knowing myself so much better. 

It really all comes down to self love & taking care of yourself first, making yourself happy. I was looking to other people to try to fill this loneliness void, & while other people can certainly make you feel less lonely, they only will temporarily. You have to discover yourself to be able to have quality friendships, & to know what you want in a friend anyway. I know it sounds cliche & cheesy, but I’m telling the truth! If you’re feeling lonely or lost in your friendships, take time for yourself & see how your social life transforms.

This post isn’t to complain or make you feel sorry for me, but I hope it makes you feel less alone because all of us go through this at some point in life. And it’s totally ok to hang out by yourself. I still haven’t gotten to the movies alone, but I just might. 🙂 

What’s your favorite thing to do when you have time to yourself? Let me know in the comments or DM me on social! 

with love,

jazz

One thought on “Be Your Own Best Friend

  1. anacademicplanner June 27, 2018 / 6:55 pm

    I like to walk around and explore the place I’m at when I go to conferences by myself! It feels so nice to be outside with no one else. I can do what I want, for as long or as short as I want. Of course, I also like to go out with friends and family. But I also enjoy it myself! This is a great reminder that we really should be our best friends first, last, and all the time!

    Like

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