Freshman year of college I had to learn how to be my own best friend. I struggled to find a close group of friends, as I think most people do. I went through a couple of friend groups & at one point I definitely thought each group was going to be my squad. But I quickly learned that people drift away & you’re left with only yourself & maybe a close few friends if you’re lucky.
At first I felt sad & sorry for myself because everyone else seemed to have their “people”. And while I do enjoy my time alone, night in & night out it got really lonely. It made me miss my boyfriend, who lives 3 hours away, even more. I thought about transferring too many times to count first semester. I spent all my time in my dorm room. Jim & Pam became my only friends. I ate all the time because I was bored & the freshman 15 started to feel real. I missed my family more than a college student probably should. I was just sad.
Once I stopped worrying so much that I was missing out, or forcing myself to hang out with people that I didn’t really like, my life got so much better. I realized that nothing was going to change, & I wasn’t going to make close relationships if I just stayed in my dorm. So I got up, got out & took time for myself.
I went to the farmers market. I discovered new coffee shops. I went on walks & discovered parts of my city I never new existed. I talked to strangers. And SURPRISE! When I stopped trying so hard to find my “people” they kinda just found me. Now I happily have a solid group of friends that I am sure will be friends for life, while also knowing myself so much better.
It really all comes down to self love & taking care of yourself first, making yourself happy. I was looking to other people to try to fill this loneliness void, & while other people can certainly make you feel less lonely, they only will temporarily. You have to discover yourself to be able to have quality friendships, & to know what you want in a friend anyway. I know it sounds cliche & cheesy, but I’m telling the truth! If you’re feeling lonely or lost in your friendships, take time for yourself & see how your social life transforms.
This post isn’t to complain or make you feel sorry for me, but I hope it makes you feel less alone because all of us go through this at some point in life. And it’s totally ok to hang out by yourself. I still haven’t gotten to the movies alone, but I just might. 🙂
What’s your favorite thing to do when you have time to yourself? Let me know in the comments or DM me on social!